Stuff White People Like #127 Where the Wild Things Are

It is a guarantee that whenever it is announced that a popular book is being turned into a movie, white people will get upset. This is partly due to their fear that something they love will be made accessible to more people and thus enjoyed by more people which immediately decreases the amount of joy a white person can feel towards the original property. Yes, it’s complicated.

The other problem is that these announcements create a ticking time bomb where by a white person must read the book in ADVANCE of the release of the movie. This is done partly so that they can engage in the popular activity of complaining about how the movie failed to capture the essence of the book.But more importantly, once a book has been made into a movie, a white person can no longer read that book. To have read the book after the movie is one of the great crimes in white culture, and under no circumstances should you ever admit to doing this. continue…

I personally find this book boring. Let me summarize it in 3 sentences or less*:

1. Bratty kid is in his room
2. A fantastical forest comes out of his imagination and monsters appear.
3. He’s crowned king and get bored.

The End.

Why in the world would I want to see a movie of this when it only took me 3 minutes to read the entire book?  

*check out my other book summaries in 3 sentences or less.

Stuff White People Like: #126 Vespa Scooters

Within white culture, your choice of transportation method says a lot about you.  For example a Prius says you care about the Earth, a bicycle shows you REALLY care about the earth, and a bus shows that you are probably not white.  But these three options are not the only viable ways for a white person to get around, they have literally dozens of choices including Volvos, old Mercedes that run on vegetable oil, Subaru Outbacks, and Vespa Scooters. Read more…

Stuff White People Like: #82 Hating Corporations

One of the more popular white person activities of the past fifteen years is attempting to educate others on the evils of multi-national corporations. White people love nothing more than explaining to you how Wal*Mart, McDonalds, Microsoft, Halliburton are destroying the Earth’s culture and resources. Read more…

Stuff White People Like: #122 Moleskine Notebooks

Since all white people consider themselves to be “creative,” they are constantly in need of products and accessories that will allow them to capture their thoughts.  One of the more popular  products in recent years has been the Moleskine notebook.

This particular type of notebook is very expensive and was quite popular with writers and artists in the olden days.  Needless to say, these are two properties that are highly coveted in the white community. Read more…